Monday, September 20, 2010

Secks Is BAAAAAD. Really.

There are some folks out in politicoland that create such a sense of WTF that I have to go backwards out on a limb with a saw in my hand to just to comprehend them.

First off, I should clarify my own views on the subject of sex: I'm for it.

I'm not a big fan of prostitution, but it does serve a purpose in mature societies.

Sex trafficking (the purposeful deception and entrapment of young ladies into a life of unwilling prostitution), THAT I'm really, really opposed to. And not just because I hate waking up at three in the morning to the sounds of
- BOOM -
a house being battered in so loudly it sounds like they're busting down the door next door to me. Ever heard a shotgun firing a shock-lock round? Like friggin' cannon fire.

It was up the street a block and a half, but the whole neighborhood suddenly knew that the cute young Asian couple with the stack of mattresses in the garage were being busted, and it wasn't until later that we found out why...   eeewww...

Anyway, two related stories that have come up in the last couple of weeks, and a friend of mine prodded me a little to write a blog post about this one.

After much cannon fire from various law enforcement agencies, Craigslist has removed the "erotic services" from their websites in the United States. But nowhere else. Not even Kuwait. So, apparently, erotic services are acceptable everywhere but in the good old Puritannical US of A.

By the way, on Craigslist, you can still get a "massage."

And, to add insult to injury, we have this new TEA Party candidate that is running for Senator in Delaware, Christine O'Donnell. Who does not approve of sex outside of marriage, and who does not approve of masturbation in any way, shape or form, and who thinks that only by teaching our teenagers the wonders of abstinence will we save them from STDs and other things that we actually had a handle on back in the seventies. She got here, of course, after doing quite a bit of sexual experimentation back in college, which, she said, left her feeling "empty."

Perhaps she needed to pick a, ahem, bigger partner for her meaningless sexual escapades.

Then there are her stories of consorting with witches. Which is why she is now opposed to Halloween. You have to wonder how she feels about celebrating Easter with bunnies and dyed eggs and all that, since that's based on a pagan ritual that we celebrate at about the time when (supposedly) Jesus died for her sins. Perhaps it would be more acceptable if we explained that Jesus hid the eggs just before he was crucified. Since he was the son of God, and could therefor do anything he wanted to, he might even have laid the eggs himself.

I wonder if she'd feel better about the whole easter-egg thing if we were to simply build a crucifix with a dummy Jesus and pelt him with eggs, to remind us of how naughty the Jews Romans were.

(sorry, blaspheming again, I know)

I get the feeling that if she ever becomes lactose-intolerant, she'll go after Cheese festivals in Wisconsin for not being Godly, since God wouldn't have made her hate something so much if it wasn't some sort of sin.

So, remember, anything you personally think is fun/bad is probably a sin. Which is why you should try to enjoy it more. You know, like murder.

No, wait...

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