Thursday, June 28, 2007

Oh My GOD

Dear King George the W:

Stop talking.

Just stop f**king talking.

No one wants to listen to you mangle the English language any more. Adding "er"s to words does not make new words, it just makes you sound really really stupid, and it embarrasses the rest of us, your loyal (comatose) subjects.

Suiciders

Beheaders

Decider (actually, this is a word - it just sounds kinda dumb)

I mean --- come ON...

And the whole bringing peace to Afghanistan and Iraq thing? When would that be happening? Why would you even think of saying that with a straight face to a Mosque fulla Muslims?!?

woof

In other news, Patrick Leahy's committee has issued subpoenas to pretty much everyone in the Executive Branch, the Justice Department, and the NSA concerning documents relating to the warrantless wiretapping of, well, everyone else.

"EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE"

This is the miracle stain-remover that VeeP Cheney has been trying to get the morality bleached outta his underpants for the last five years, only now the mean old Senate ain't buying. Cheney didn't think the Senate had any right to Nixon's tapes, either. Unfortunately, the Supes back then aren't the same Supes now, and Scalia is likely to say, well, Executive Privilege does apply in this case, as we're at war. Secrets are important to be kept from the American public. Like whether the White House was wiretapping protest groups or commies or subversives like that there. That's a secret.

More interesting news - thanks to the Stephanie Miller Show (AM1090 in the Seattle area), we now know the names of some of the new Army operations occurring in Iraq at the moment. And they're funny without meaning to be. Like Operation Commando Eagle.

As the SM show says, so this is an eagle without underpants?

My other favorite - Operation Arrowhead Ripper.

(cue loud heavy metal music)

Silly little boys, making up names for their green army men games.

Actually, the last one makes a certain amount of sense. There is a character in Stanley Kubrick's "Doctor Strangelove: Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb" (yes, that's really the full title of that movie): General Jack D. Ripper, who sends his entire Air Force bomber wing to attack their Soviet targets in order to "preserve our precious bodily fluids."

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Cheney vs Cheney

I want to use the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of reference for the things Dick Cheney is saying these days, but as he's both Mr. Hyde and Mr. Hyde, there isn't an individual that even comes close.

Sybill?

Back in the early days of the Cheney Vice-presidency, he told us that he couldn't give us all the names of the folks he had on his Energy Task Force. "Executive Privilege." oooookay.

So we don't know if anyone from Greenpeace was there (unlikely), but we're pretty sure "Kenny-Boy" Lay was probably invited.

And now that the National Archive has come calling to determine what and how Cheney's office classifies, he's saying he doesn't have to give up anything, as (by virtue of the fact that he's also President of the Senate), his office is in the Legislative Branch of government, not the Executive.

Rahm Emmanuel has said, Well fine, if he's only part of the leigslative branch, then we're not funding his office under the Executive Branch anymore, and he's going to have to start laying off all those people whose names he won't give us.

Oh, yeah, that's another little anomaly: Cheney won't tell anyone who works for him at all. I guess we only find out about them if they get indicted for lying to the FBI. Or maybe if he shoots them in the face, and they're forced to apologise for putting Cheney and his family through the awful ordeal.

Tony Snow refers to the de-funding as "Playing Politics." I have news for Mr. Snow - politics is money. And Cheney started this little game when he claimed Executive Privilege with one breath and the opposite with the next. It's fine if you want to claim insanity, Sybill, but don't act all surprised if we take you at your word - and have you committed.